How to have sex in public without getting caught

Don’t even kid yourself, because we’ve all either thought about it, done it, or have done it and then thought about how we could do it again. Sex in public is a fantasy that about 99.9 percent of men desire—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Since getting down and dirty in a public place is about as complicated as pulling off the perfect bank heist, here are six tips to doing it, and doing it, and doing it successfully.

6. Find Your Quiet Spot

Of the times when I’ve had public sex, I’ve always scoped out the situation prior to bringing a lady back there for some recon work. Hey, I’m no secret agent, but finding out if a beach is crowded at dusk is important to making sure you don’t get there fully prepared to bang and wind up getting let down because too many people are already there. Put in some work beforehand and you’ll be plugging in no time.

5. Don’t Make It Obvious

You’re about to do something daring—like get naked in public and have sex—so I know it’d be awesome to get a little antsy and/or excited about the moment, but don’t do it. Rather than laugh at the thought of lying down in a big field of tall grass butt naked, just focus on doing whatever you can to not get caught by anyone—while still trying to make it pleasurable for your partner.

4. Get Ready For Silent Sex

As mentioned above, you can’t make things too obvious when it comes to public sex, so get that fantasy of banging like a porno out of your mind, because that shit isn’t happening. Unless you and your partner are extremely intoxicated and just don’t give a damn—in other words, bound to get busted—public sex is going to be a lot of heavy breathing, whispering and nothing too hardcore. Sorry, dude.

3. Make It Quick

For some of you guys out there, this won’t be any different than sex in your bedroom—oh, jokes. Kidding aside, whether you’re Speedy Gonzales or a Tantric expert, hitting and quitting as fast as you can without making it pointless is your best option. We’d all love to have a romp session that resembles something in the bedroom—kissing, rubbing, dry humping, foreplay and sex—but sex outdoors isn’t the place for that kind of stuff.

2. Ease Her Mind

Let’s be honest here, as much as this is your fantasy, you’ll be scared out of your mind. As true as that may be, it’s on you to make sure your partner isn’t uptight and nervous, too, otherwise what’s about to happen will go as smoothly as a toddler trying to drive a car—AKA, not good. As the man, you need to take charge and remind your partner that this is about having fun and trying something different. She’ll be scared of getting caught, it’s on you to calm her down.

1. If All Else Fails, Get To The Car

I know, having sex in a car is a hell of a lot more cramped than outside in the wilderness, but when doing so in the open air just isn’t plausible, you can still tap into the exhibitionist within you by getting in the backseat of a car and locking every door. This is one time when wearing a seatbelt is unnecessary.

By Nick Dimengo – FHM Philippines

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